What Your Toilet Training Diaries Are Telling Us

Toilet training can feel like a milestone with a clear end goal: being “clean all the time.” But the reality is that toilet training is a journey, and can be unpredictable.  If your child isn’t fully dry yet, we would like to reassure you that you are not behind and most people completing a diary are in the same position. 

The headline finding: most children are not “clean all the time” (yet) 

Across the Big Toilet Project diary data, only a relatively small number of children have reached the “clean all the time” stage so far. Most are still in the middle of the journey: learning, practising, and gradually building skills. Many children are in what could be described as an “in-between” phase, where they are dry for parts of the day but still have accidents, or where progress comes and goes. 

Toilet training is not always predictable 

One of the clearest insights from parents’ experiences is that toilet training is rarely a smooth, linear process. Instead, it often moves in cycles. Many families describe strong early progress, followed by a period where accidents return. Others notice improvements at home but not yet in settings like nursery, or that their child confidently manages wees but finds poos more difficult. Changes in routine, such as illness, holidays, starting childcare, or welcoming a new sibling, can also lead to setbacks. These patterns are extremely common. What might feel like a step backwards is often just part of how children consolidate new skills. 

A range of journeys

The Big Toilet Project diaries also show just how varied children’s journeys can be. Some children make rapid progress when families have the time and space to focus, for example during a few days at home. Others move forward more gradually, needing time to build awareness of their bodies, confidence using the potty or toilet, and independence with everyday tasks like pulling clothes up and down. Many children also go through phases of resistance saying no to the potty one week, then re-engaging with it the next. 

The “in-between” stage is the longest

For many families, the longest part of the process is the stage where things are going “quite well, but not all the time.” Children might be dry for much of the day, but still have occasional accidents, especially when they are tired, busy playing, or in an unfamiliar environment. This phase can last for several months. 

Night-time dryness often comes later

Another important point that comes through strongly from the Big Toilet Project diaries is that night-time dryness usually develops later than daytime control. Many children who are confidently using the toilet during the day are still wearing nappies at night or having wet nights from time to time. This, too, is entirely typical and not something that needs to happen at the same pace as daytime training. If you’re navigating night-time wetting, you might find it helpful to explore guidance from ERIC (The Children’s Bowel & Bladder Charity):
https://eric.org.uk/childrens-bladders/bedwetting/

Why your experience matters - keep up the good work

One of the goals of collecting toilet training diaries is to show the real journey, not just the outcome. And that process includes accidents, hesitation, breakthroughs, setbacks and small incremental progress. We strongly encourage all parents and adults responsible for toilet training to continue logging their journeys. If your child is still working towards being clean all the time - your experience is still valid and important. In fact, capturing these in-between stages is exactly what helps us understand how children really learn. The data helps build a more honest understanding of toilet training and can help us draw recommendations for how guidance and support for future parents can be improved. And of course if your child is clean all the time, please do not forget to finish your Toilet Training Diaries by clicking on the dark blue button on the right-hand side (shown below)! 

💛 Most children are still learning and that’s exactly where they’re supposed to be.